


The two times Brian refused to break and the one time he did.

by thenerdyantelope



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-31
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-02-03 12:48:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1745153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenerdyantelope/pseuds/thenerdyantelope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bev's died. The husbands try to work through it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The two times Brian refused to break and the one time he did.

**Author's Note:**

> For [Abbi](http://willgrahamed.tumblr.com) as I’m a terrible friend

**One**

The pair left the office in silence, the shock of the news they’d just heard leaving them with shaking breaths. They walked to the lab slowly, hands brushing against each others as they both tried to find comfort in each other. Brian steeled his face, knowing from Jimmy’s face that there was no way he could start crying. He didn’t want to hurt Jimmy anymore than he was already hurting.

Brian opened the door to the lab slowly, carefully avoiding glancing at anything that had belonged to Bev-even the camera the three of them had bought a year ago for cases he steered clear of. He heard Jimmy start to sniff next to him and glanced at his husband, seeing Jimmy’s face begin to crumple as he slumped into a chair. Brian curled his arms around him and held him tightly, letting Jimmy bury his face into his chest and he started sobbing relentlessly. Racking sobs bounced of the walls of the lab as his chest heaved with grief for his lost friend as Jimmy clung tightly to Brian hoping that if he held on enough he wouldn’t lose him too.

Watching Jimmy so heartbroken was enough to tear Brian’s heart into even smaller pieces and cause tears to tug at his eyes but it didn’t break him. _It couldn’t._ He swallowed his tears and steadied his breathing as Jimmy bawled into him, simply making comforting noises and kissing the top of his head softly. Brian would do anything to help Jimmy feel better, and if putting on a brave face was the way to do that, then he was damn sure he’d keep it up.

**Two**

It had been a week since they’d been sat in Jack’s office and they’d barely spoken since. When they had talked it was just fleeting conversation such as where Brian had put the washing power or if Jimmy had been trying to “fix” the broadband router again, and Jimmy was beginning to worry about Brian. When he’d sobbed into his husband’s jacket the night in the lab Jimmy had found that he’d managed to release a lot of the grief he felt for Bev then. Of course he was still in mourning, but it was slowly becoming easier to come to terms with her death-he’d even been able to deliver the eulogy at her funeral with barely a scupper in his voice. What terrified Jimmy was the fact that Brian still hadn’t shown any signs of upset over Bev’s death. He sighed and began to make coffee, deciding that he needed to actually _talk_ to Brian and find out what was really going on.

“Jim? Have you fed Locard yet today?” Brian asked as he walked into the kitchen, their puppy following hot on his heels.

Jimmy looked at his husband with concern before answering, “Yeah, I fed him earlier. Coffee?” He asked. It was long a tradition that if one of them offered the other coffee it meant they needed to have a chat.

Brian eyed  him suspiciously, “What do you want to talk about?” He sat at the table, clenching his fists where Jimmy couldn’t see them, in an attempt to try and keep calm.

“Do you really need to ask?” Jimmy took the coffees and sat opposite Brian, “We need to talk about...” He swallowed hard, “We need to talk about what happened to Bev.”

Brian’s face fell slightly, he’d been expecting this, but hadn’t imagined Jimmy confronting it so head on. He took a measured sip of his coffee to steady himself and replied, “What about it?” He hated himself for acting so blasé about it, but he refused to cry in front of Jimmy and if trying not to think about it was the way to do that, then he was going to do it.

Jimmy’s face softened as he saw the heartbreak in Brian’s eyes, “Bri...I know you’re hurting...I am too. It’s...it’s okay to talk about it, or whatever.” He said quietly, reaching out to stroke Brian’s hand as encouragement to seek comfort in him.

His husband pulled away, “I’m fine Jim.” Brian’s harsh tones stung Jimmy slightly, scaring him more.

“Bri...” Jimmy almost begged, staring at his husband with concern and pity. He knew that Brian and Beverly had been close-long before Jimmy knew the pair of them well, and so knew that Brian would be taking it hard. The lack of emotion he seemed to show scared him though, he was worried as to what would happen if Brian kept himself locked up.

“I’m _fine_!” Brian snapped, tears welling in his eyes as he steadied himself on the table, taking a minute to slow his breathing as he saw Jimmy’s eyes widened with shock, “I’m going to take Locard for a walk,” He said, quieter than before, “I’ll be back in half an hour.”

And with a quick kiss to the top of Jimmy’s head Brian was gone. Jimmy sighed heavily as he cleared up the cups, praying that Brian would be okay.

**Three**

The next evening Brian found himself surrounded by old case files he’d picked up from the lab. They’d been in disarray for weeks and he’d only just found the time to reorganise him. He found a safe haven in this though; sorting through the files was a way to distract himself from his grief. This all changed when he came across a crumpled piece of paper at the bottom of a box.

He tugged it out, expecting it to be an extract of a file that’d fallen out; however what he found was far more meaningful. He unfolded it slowly, ironing it out on his knee and instantly recognising Bev’s handwriting.

_“Now let me tell you a thing about Brian Zeller. He my best friend in the world and Jimmy is so lucky to now be married to him. ~~I love him like a bro~~. Though I guess you guys don’t want to hear the mushy stuff so I’ll get straight in with the hilarious stor-“_

Brian had to stop reading, he recognised those words, and could hear Bev’s voice in his head as he read them. The cheerful tone she’d said those words in, the proud way she’d told everyone he was her best friend. They were the words he’d heard in her best man speech at his and Jim’s wedding just seven months ago.

He saw the tears drop onto the paper before he felt them. The harsh reminder of how close he and Bev had been was not welcomed, and it caused the wall Brian had built against his grief to come crashing down and his dissolved into tears as he continued to stare at the draft. He shook, memories of Bev flooded his mind and each one broke his heart into smaller pieces. The day they met, the time she tried to set him up on a date and it had failed dramatically, the first time they’d gotten drunk together, their first evening out with Jimmy all burned his mind as he finally remembered the speech again. The speech that had made him tear up at the wedding breakfast and teh speech that was making him sob now.

He continued sobbing, screwing up the draft and holding it to his chest, clinging to the last piece of Beverly he had. His tears echoed through the lounge, his hoarse wails  uncontrollable as he grieved for his friend.

His chest had begun to ache as he heard Jimmy come through the door with the shopping and he scrambled to pull himself together, “Hey Jim.” He called, his voice giving him away as it cracked on the second syllable.

“Bri?” Jimmy called back concerned, walking quickly to the lounge and taking one look at his husband before going and sitting next to him, pulling his head to his chest and stroking his hair gently as Brian continued to cry relentlessly. Jimmy whispered soothing phrases into his ear and continued to hold him, his heart shattering with each sob Brian continued to make.

When he had no more tears to shed, Brian wheezed quietly into Jimmy, still shaking hard as he sniffed, “I’m sorry.” He mumbled, guilt flooding him as he realised how awful Jimmy must feel for seeing him like that.

“You don’t need to be,” Jimmy kissed his forehead, “It’s okay.” He cuddled Brian fiercely, rubbing his back as he cuddled into him more.

“Kay.” He muttered, finally beginning to regain his breathing. He looked up at Jimmy, his eyes bloodshot and his nose snotty, “Thank you.”

“It’s okay. I understand.” Jimmy replied, kissing his forehead. Brian then nuzzled into him, finding comfort in having Jimmy next to him.

***

Later that night the pair of them sat on the sofa with tumblers of whiskey, they’d finally had a proper conversation about Beverly. The good times they shared, the things they missed about her. Brian had coined the term “What would Beverly do?” which would soon become their motto. They both finally felt comfortable in each other’s presence again now they had broken the barrier that was standing between them.

Brian raised his glass at Jimmy, “To Bev.” He said quietly.

“To Bev.” Jimmy replied, chinking his glass against Brian’s and the pair continued to drink late into the night.


End file.
